Podcast 23 - The New Mom Schlep
Hey, my name is Patricia Ciavarello and I am obsessed with all things motherhood and helping you keep calm in the chaos of motherhood and life's unexpected moments. I am a mom of twins with a doctorate in business whose world fell apart and had to pick myself up piece by piece. I am not an expert, but I have totally been there, and I am so far from perfect, but definitely not afraid to get real and vulnerable.
I teach you the secrets to motherhood and life I wish someone told me, because as much as we wish there was, nobody hands you a mommy manual. So pull up a seat, get comfy and get ready for me to spill my secrets. This is Real Mom Truths Nobody Tells You.
I am so grateful that you are tuned into this episode of Real Mom Truths Nobody Tells You.
Now this episode is meant to be kind of funny. Now don't go judging me on my stand-up comedy skills, because that's so far from anything that I'm trying to do in this episode, but I think there is some comic relief to this only because the reality of what this looks like in real life is pretty funny.
So let me just give you an example. If you're just tuning in for the first time, I'm a mom of twins. And prior to twins, I had pretty regular life, you know, wake up, go to work, come home, make dinner, right. Everything was pretty calm and at my own pace. And as much as the stress and overwhelm of work always was present, aside from that, I kind of had the freedom to live life as I want it. Right. No other really big life challenges or moments had come into play at that point. And then I had my twin pregnancy and I had a pretty high risk pregnancy and I was actually hospitalized unexpectedly for three months towards the end of my pregnancy.
So from six to nine months almost I was hospitalized and that should have been like the tell-tale sign for me of motherhood. And I say that in a way, to explain to embrace the unexpected. Right? Cause we were actually just going to a doctor's appointment that day and it was actually a sonogram appointment.
And instead of going home, we ended up at the hospital and after being in the hospital, I actually never came home till I came home with the babies. And I'm very blessed and fortunate that I was there because. They took really good care of me and it was where I was supposed to be, but it should have been the first glimpse in the first lesson into motherhood and expecting the unexpected. So now let's segue into this new mom schlep, right? What is that? What is the new mom schlep? The new mom schlep is, I'm laughing before I even say it because I'm just picturing myself in this schlep, and it's making me laugh. So let's just imagine, right.
You're a new mom and you're taking your baby out for maybe the very first few times, and maybe you're going to a doctor's appointment or for a walk, whatever it may be. And let's just start with the diaper bag. Right. You have probably packed into this diaper bag, everything you could possibly fit into a diaper bag.
Plus everything for every case scenario of what could possibly go wrong while you're out on this trip with the baby, right? Whether that's change of clothes, change of diapers, medication, a blanket. And I'm not saying that any of this is wrong. I'm just painting a picture for you because this is how we were too. Right. And you have packed everything that you could possibly think of for every case scenario, right? Every toy that appeases them. Well, newborn stage, it's kind of tough, but you get the drift, right? This monster endless bag, a bottomless pit of stuff? Okay. Now, if you're lucky to live on the first floor or have an elevator, then you're in luck because that is so helpful. I can say, as a mom who lives on a third floor, walk-up I can tell you just being on the first floor alone or having an elevator or a few steps. Oh my gosh. I wish as a mom of twins that I had that, especially when they were younger and the car seats. So you've packed this bag and it has everything that you could possibly think of in it.
And you're probably like barely threw clothes on yourself, have your hair thrown up in like a messy bun. Maybe you had breakfast. Maybe you didn't. You rush out the door, right? Probably for getting your head if it wasn't attached with the diaper bag with the baby and the car seat, and then the schlep, right.
The schlep begins. I remember walking with one car seat and like the mark in my arm alone. And you know, you watch all those videos, like how to hold a car seat and hold it this way and hold it that way. And the truth is I had, especially after being in the hospital for three months, my muscle tone had just depleted.
Right? So even just carrying one car seat, let alone two just in a short distance or up three flights of stairs, forget it. There was like no energy in my body. And I remember talking about the schlep and I felt like everywhere I went was the schlep, whether it was one car seat, two car seats, the diaper bag, and, and you know where to put everything when you get somewhere and, you know, the doctor's offices are so small, let alone for twins.
Forget it. It was like, oh, get the big office open. The mom of twins is here, you know? And. I just felt so discombobulated in those moments, right? Like I wanted to just walk out the door and say, come on, kids, jump in the car and go to where we needed to go. And the uncertainty of it and the schlep and the luggage and the heaviness.
And it was just tough. And. I know, obviously in time the kids, you know, run down the stairs and jump in the car and go where you need to go. But I remember just in that moment, I felt almost this wanting to, you know, be able to do it all and carry it all and schlep it all and push it all and you know, and not feel so discombobulated about it.
I wanted it to feel Iike I was used to the schlep or accustomed to the schlep. I don't know any other way to describe it, but I, I wish that the schlep didn't feel like a schlep, if that makes sense. Right. Like I just wanted to like, have everything kind of in tow and not need help.
Like, I just wanted to be able to do it all. And I think that was my first lesson in motherhood that it's okay to ask for help and it's okay to not be able to do it all. And you know, we still schlep even till this day, you know, the diaper bag packed with, you know, every new thing that you could think of in it.
And you know, of course, you know, you go out, and the one thing that you did forget, you need. That just happens. And I think that's the beauty and the irony of motherhood, right. It's those moments that kind of make you just, hand on your forehead, where you're just like having a Homer Simpson moment.
Your back hurts your arm hurts. You're sweating from the schlep or carrying or chasing or whatever the case may be. And at the same time, it's what makes you so beautiful because that selflessness and that love and that resilience to want to be able to do it all, to want to be the best mother you can be, to have that fire in you that nobody can stop.
Regardless whether you have one kid, two kids, three kids, five kids, no kids, right. That fire that makes you, you. That nobody is going to stop you. No schlep is going to stop you, right? You got this. And as much as you may hate the schlep, cause I know the schlep is real. The schlepped game is real.
As much as you may hate it, or as much as it may frustrate you. It tells such a beautiful story because it shows the care and thought that you put into every single thing that you packed in that bag. And the fact that you worry or are overwhelmed is the fact that you were concerned enough to want to do it right.
And the fact that you maybe forgot a change of clothes and they wet themselves, and you've got your hand on your head and you're beating yourself up about it shows that you have the foresight and the love of a mom to want to plan ahead for unexpected moments so that they don't suffer.
But the truth is, is that it's going to happen. Right? There's going to be moments where, you know, they wet their clothes and you don't have a spare change. There's going to be moments where you're so over the schlep, and there's going to be moments where you just wish you could just say, run in the car and jump in, and that's okay.
That's okay. I remember when I used to have to leave the house I would have such anxiety and such overwhelm about it, and it was, you know, two of them and one of me, and even if I had help, it was like almost like the over anticipation of it all killed me and looking back now, I wish I could have told my new mom self that, that was all part of the process of adjusting to motherhood. And I wish I could have told my new mom self that all those lessons serve a purpose. You know, that lesson to expect the unexpected, that lesson of sometimes it's good to be prepared, but sometimes you just have to trust that you got it.
And that lesson of, maybe the schlep is like getting to you and you're tired and you're exhausted and you feel like you just can't take one more step, but you know what? You are resilient and strong and beautiful, and you will take that step and you will take it for your children, because of the simple fact that you are an amazing mom and you love them so much.
And it's okay to be tired and it's okay to be frustrated and it's okay to make mistakes. And it's okay to hate the schlep, right? Because one day there will be no schlep and you will be able to say kids get in the car and, you know, maybe they'll even in the future be picking you up and taking you out, or maybe schlepping things for you.
And that's the beauty of life, right? That's the circle of life that we do all these things for the ones we love, because we love them and they do for us because they love us. So, if you're in that moment of schlepping, I want you to know you're not alone. And we are right here with you. And I want you to catch yourself in those moments and say, I have everything it takes and everything I need and acknowledge the fact that you are one amazing mama!
As always, I promise to be here for you and serve you and cheer you on every step of the way and spill all the secrets of motherhood and life I wish someone told me. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Real Mom Truths Nobody Tells You podcast. Until next time, keep on celebrating you because you, my friend, are so worth it. I am literally doing my happy dance with you because you just finished another episode of Real Mom Truths Nobody Tells You. I felt like that episode flew by way too fast. Right? If you want more head over to www.realmomtruths.com for show notes, and if you're looking for a new mom group to uplift and encourage you, and for helpful tips, be sure to join me and my community on Facebook.